Monday, 20 April 2009

Unnecessary




Went shopping with SJ after her class around Tampines area. Just got back.

I have this knot in my mind/heart. And I know if I don't find a way to overcome it, I will frame myself into misery. I've been trying very hard to remind myself the only problem is psychological, and all I have to do, is to stop thinking that way.

But no, reality is still reality. I can choose not to bother about those little details, but unfortunately, I am someone who lets the slightest reason affect my feelings. Yes, this close to pathetic.

I was never like this before. I have no idea where has all the confidence gone. Maybe it's the new environment, the new atmosphere, that makes me feel insecure and uneasy. I just cannot help but have all those thoughts.

Ever felt like you don't fit in? Now I do.

I don't blame anyone, I blame myself, it is seriously, my problem. Trust me, I wish I was not like this. This roller coaster ride seriously sucks like fuck. You know, actually I have no reason to complain or worry, but I still do it.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I talked to SJ about this issue, and maybe she is right, it's too early to tell, so don't jump to unnecessary thoughts. Shopping only made me feel a little better.

THE PROBLEMO IS MOI. M-E. MEEEEEEEEEE. I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET OVER MYSELF. ACCEPT & MOVE ON, DAMN IT. I should be thankful for everything that's happening right now.


EDIT 21/4/09 6.24PM

WAS BEING BLOODY EMO! HAHA IGNORE/FORGET THE LOAD OF CRAP ABOVE.
BTW SCHOOL/AFTER SCHOOL TODAY WAS FUN FUN FUN! The peeps in my class rocks!

Xoxo, V.

3 comments:

xiaomin said...

HELLO!, how was your school day?? (:

Vanessa Kwek said...

WAS GOOD WAS GOOD! :D see you soon!

Xuemei said...

Life isn't any better for me in there. Haha. It's common to feel unease in a new environment. I felt like this too and though i've been in my college for nearly 2 months, i still feel weird in there uh. Yup. and sometimes i ask myself why didn't i choose poly... ):
So cheer up! (: